EXERCISIN’, COUNTRY STYLE
One of my “health nut” buddies told me I should be exercisin’ at least three times a week. I asked him what he did for exercise this week.
“Well,” he said. “Yesterday I walked three miles on the treadmill followed by some low impact exercises.”
“Wow!” I said. “Three miles! That’s somethin’ right there.”
He puffed out his chest and smiled back at me. “So,” he said with just a hint of a smirk. “What did you do yesterday?”
I smiled. “Let’s see,” I said lookin’ up like I was tryin’ to remember. “Yesterdaaaay,” I said, draggin’ the word out. “Hmmm…. Oh yeah. Now I remember.”
I looked back down and smiled at him. “Well, first off I slid my 200 pound forks onto the bucket of my tractor and bolted ‘em down. Then I slid my cage onto those forks. Then I loaded my chainsaw on a stick into the cage. Then I jammed my extension ladder between the cage and the back of the bucket. Then I grabbed a tow strap and threw it into the bucket. Then I drove the tractor under a tree, got off, removed the ladder from the bucket, got back on the tractor, raised the bucket as high as it would go, got back off, raised my ladder to the bucket, climbed the ladder, climbed into the cage, cranked the chainsaw on a stick, and proceeded to cut all the limbs within reach. When those were cut, I climbed out of the cage, climbed down to the ground, removed the ladder, moved the tractor far enough to cut some more limbs, climbed off the tractor, raised the ladder again, climbed back up, climbed into the cage and started on some more limbs. Once, while I was up there, one of the limbs fell and bounced up against my ladder and knocked it to the ground. I finished cutting the limbs I could reach, climbed out of the cage, and grabbed the tow strap. I slid one of the looped ends of the tow strap over one of the spears that I had bolted on to the bucket, threw the other end down to the ground, and slid down the tow strap. I moved the ladder out of the way, climbed back on the tractor, moved it to another tree, and….. well, you know.
I did this for about two and a half, maybe three hours. Then I removed the cage, used the forks to pick up as many limbs as I could, got off the tractor, threw smaller limbs on top, and hauled ‘em to the brush pile. This took several trips.”
I then added, with a smile of course, “And you walked three miles and got nothin’ done, huh? Sorry Bud, looks like I win.”
Copyright © 2025 by Rusty W. Mitchum
All Rights reserved 5/25/2025
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